I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
