I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
