sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
