Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's shark week go big or go home
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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