the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
