ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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