he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
