Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
