Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
high people should be assigned attendants
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
