I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
40s are totally the cure
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
