He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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