hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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