my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
