I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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