i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize