No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
