He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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