Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
