erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
