I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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