i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
