Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
