I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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