I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm at about main and main street
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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