Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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