Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
