Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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