Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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