Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
