Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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