North Korea, Best Korea!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
