YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
