FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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