I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
