If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
