sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
