I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
