You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
