That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
