addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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