life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
