So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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