i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize