Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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