I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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