Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
