just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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