What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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