my vag is so smooth its legendary
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
