I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
