he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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