HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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