The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You ruined the universe
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
