she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
