She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
