Screwed.edu
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
