just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
