addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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